Who Are You When I'm Not Looking?
by babylerms
Summary: Based off the song of the same name by Blake Shelton. Setting is obviously the fabathroom. Rachel finds Quinn in the bathroom and offers some comfort.


_My oh my you're so good-looking_

_But who are you when I'm not looking_

She was a blonde ponytail swinging back and forth as she sashayed down the hallway. The way the students cleared out of the way and lined up along the lockers to watch created a runway feeling and boy did she look like she was working that runway. Rachel watched Quinn's hips sway back and forth exaggeratedly as she strutted confidently.

She never wanted to know someone so badly. Briefly she wondered if this was the difference between males and lesbians. The boys at this school just wanted to have sex with Quinn but Rachel… Rachel wanted to _know_ her. She wanted to know if Quinn broke things when she got mad because it seemed like the girl had a temper. She wanted to know if Quinn was more like her mother or father because Rachel thought Quinn was unlike anybody she had ever met before. She wondered if it was a genetic Fabray thing or something just uniquely Quinn. She wanted to know simple things like what was Quinn's favorite movie or book growing up. She wanted to know what noises she could make Quinn make when they were… and she blushed at the thought. Okay so some if it was about sex for her too but that wasn't all of it.

Then she thought maybe it wasn't the difference between males and lesbians but a difference between someone who you thought was physically attractive and someone who you thought was that and so much more, someone you could see yourself being with. As Rachel was thinking all this she failed to realize that Quinn, followed by Santana and Brittany, was heading straight for her. She gulped loudly. This never ended well. But then Quinn's phone started ringing and her attention was diverted. Rachel was safe for now.

In Spanish class Rachel's mind always wandered. Mr. Schuester was a terrible Spanish teacher so she learned much better when she taught herself. She thought about Glee song choices, lyrics, and Quinn. That's why she didn't feel bad about going to the bathroom during it like she would in a different class. It wasn't like she was missing anything important. She walked down the hallway slowly thinking how peaceful it was this way when no one was around and she was at much less risk to be slushied. She finally made it to the bathroom.

When she entered she saw Quinn with her back to the door, her shoulders were shaking, and Rachel could hear her sobbing.

"Quinn?" She asked hesitantly as she took another step into the room. The other girl's body tensed and stopped moving altogether when she heard Rachel.

"I thought I locked the door." Quinn said quietly more to herself than Rachel.

"Are… are you okay?" Rachel took another step towards Quinn.

Quinn didn't answer or turn around and she didn't plan to until she had herself completely under control but Rachel was persistent. She took another step and laid a hand on Quinn's shoulder who nearly jumped out of her skin at the contact.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you but when I'm sad and crying I find that physical affection like hand holding or hugging makes me feel better so I thought it might make you feel better even though we're hardly friends but still it…" Quinn cut Rachel off at that. "It's fine. I'm just not used to it. My family…" She paused as if debating on whether or not to share this information. "In my family crying is considered a shameful act. We don't hold hands or hug or ask if the person is okay or even acknowledge it in any way. We leave the room until it stops and the other person composes themselves if we're unfortunate enough to have walked in on it." She stated the venom clear in her voice.

"Quinn, that sounds awful."

"Yeah well it's been that way ever since I can remember."

"Even when you were little?" Rachel asked her heart breaking a little at Quinn's admission. She couldn't imagine parents that didn't try to comfort their children. She felt sad and lucky that she had parents who did and lucky that Quinn was sharing this information with her unsure why but not wanting to question it.

"Yeah." Quinn confirmed.

"Quinn, that's so…"

"Don't." Quinn said in strangled voice sounding like she might start crying again. Family seemed to be a sensitive subject for Quinn. Rachel thought maybe this mood had something to do with the Fabrays and that phone call Quinn had gotten not too long ago.

"Would you like a hug?" Rachel asked in response in a small voice. Quinn turned around and Rachel's breath caught. Even sad with tear tracks down her face Quinn was the most beautiful thing Rachel had ever seen.

Quinn took a tentative step forward. She was the most unsure Rachel had ever seen her. To Rachel she looked innocent and younger than ever. She closed the gap between them and put her arms around Quinn's neck. Quinn's body tensed up again and Rachel dropped one of her hands to trace soothing circles on Quinn's back. She could feel Quinn relax slightly against her and she wrapped her arms around Rachel's waist.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rachel asked referring to the reason the cheerleader was so distraught in the first place.

"No. I can't right now."

So they stayed like that for what felt like a long time but in reality was only a few minutes. Every once in a while Rachel would feel a small sob shake Quinn's frame.

Quinn breathed in deeply once and stepped back. She looked at Rachel for a second with an unreadable expression and then turned to look at herself in the mirror and sighed. She began to fix her makeup. Rachel stood there dumbly watching. Her arms already missed the feeling of Quinn beneath them. As Quinn was touching up her lip-gloss she looked at Rachel in the mirror's reflection.

"You can't tell any or your little friends about this. If you do, you'll regret it." She said as she glared at Rachel. She could see Quinn's walls were coming back up, although the threat didn't quite pack the same punch that Quinn's usually did.

"I wouldn't. Even if I had friends to tell." Rachel admitted. Quinn turned around and looked at her again, the unreadable expression back on her face.

"That's my fault." Quinn said as if the thought had never occurred to her before and she looked genuinely sad. Rachel opened her mouth to deny this fact but realized it was impossible. It was impossible to know if she could have had friends outside of the tentative relationships she had formed with Kurt and Tina in Glee Club had Quinn and the rest of the popular kids not made her seem so undesirable to be friends with but she tended to think she would have. Quinn went to leave the bathroom and stopped at the door. She looked over her shoulder and said quietly, "I'm sorry," and then she was gone.

Rachel didn't know what this meant or if it meant anything at all. She didn't know if Quinn would stop being mean to her or bullying her. But she now knew something about Quinn that she didn't know before and that probably nobody knew about her. She wasn't just the cold, commanding, and intimidating cheerleader that stalked the halls and tore people down. There was a softer side to her, a more human side. She was a very pretty girl, the prettiest girl Rachel had ever met but she was a lot more than that. It was everything Rachel had hoped to be true about the girl. She desperately wanted there to be more to Quinn otherwise how could she explain the feelings she had for the blonde or the way she thought about her constantly. Quinn needed someone to be there for her who would love her for her. She didn't know it yet but Rachel could be that person. Rachel wondered if maybe Quinn had feelings for her. Why would she open up to her like that and let Rachel hold her? Rachel tried not to dwell on that question too long. She just wanted to remember the moment forever. If Quinn needed someone she would be there for her always.

Quinn was still a bit of a mystery. Rachel may not have known everything about the girl but this was definitely a start.


End file.
